Two months working full-time, man, I didn’t recognize all that free time I had before. Not only FREE TIME, but also the FREEDOM to spend time however I want it.
However, I don’t long for this freedom, at least not at this stage of my life. Having obligations to my job, to EPFL, to my mentor, means that I am in duty and I am learning. That’s what I want.
Beliefs that are not my own
I’ve always held biases against finance. I thought: it’s freakishly boring, a zero-sum game that adds no value to the society, and easy money. People in finance are hawkish alpha wall-st wolves full of themselves.
But two days ago, I realized that these are not MY THOUGHTS. I didn’t come up with these opinions. I got them from SOMEWHERE. I don’t even necessarily agree with them. And yet, holding these beliefs limited my choices.
Damn, how many preconceived opinions do I hold? Biases and judgements of events, industries, businesses, and people that I know nothing about? Admittedly common opinions have their shares of truth, and it’s impossible to experience everything and have conclusions about everything. But my mind, my opinions, my assumptions are holding me back, preventing from knowing more about the world.
I suddenly understand why in the movie Dune 2, Lady Jessica makes her son Paul drink the sand worm juice, even though it might kill him. It opens up the mind, and allows one to see all the paths in front of him/her. and THAT, is a priceless ability.
Most important realization I’ve had in a while.
Mentor
I completely don’t deserve the amount of luck I have. Aside from being in born to wonderful parents, some truly precious people have come into my life, held my hands firmly, and guided me generously. My middle school math teacher Ms. Yang, my Yale prof Prof. Stearns, and now my boss.
The only way I can pay back, is by being helpful, empathetic, genuine; by putting myself to good use, solving meaningful problems; and by keeping in touch with them.
I miss building things
Finance is immensely interesting (any field is interesting if you dig deeply enough). But commodity is particularly so, because it’s so close to you, yet invisible. The concrete of your house, the gas in your car, the bread and pork on your plate, the aluminum of your bike. Commodity trading is about building a global picture, understanding the supply and demand, tracking the flow of goods. Working in this industry, you try to develop an eagle vision of the world. Whoever sees more, sees sharper, will find the discrepancies in market, and win.
Building, on the other hand, it’s about focusing. You have an idea. You roll up your sleeves and start laying bricks. The sun is burning on your back, you’re sweating as hell, and all you see is bricks. But after a while, you step back, look up, and realized that you’ve built a beautiful garden. And people come to your garden for a walk, to enjoy a beer, to watch the sunset. I didn’t understand the world better from building coursefinder, but it’s the most gratifying thing I’ve ever done.
I’ve recently stumbled upon the book Prince of Persia, by Jordan Mechner. It’s his diaries during the 6 years when he was building the game Prince of Persia. I cannot easily write about it now, because it’s late and I have too much that I want to say. Maybe I will write another blog dedicated to what I learned.
I haven’t finished it. It’s one of those books that I dread finishing, because that means I won’t encounter another book of this quality for a while.