Running past Sagrada Familia, Gaudi’s work is just mesmerizing.
In August 2021, I signed up for the Barcelona marathon with one question in mind – I just want to know if I have the willpower to do it again. I’ve amped up my milage significantly since then, over 200km for the past three months. I just finished the race in 3 hour 40 minutes (still short of BQ time, but that’s the next target!)
In the process, I learned so much about my body, my own mental processes, time, dealing with expectations, past performances etc. Here are just some random bits, personal, but might be helpful or interesting to you. [I will upload some photos later on]
Marathon starting line at Place d’Espanye, the atmosphere of these 15,000 runners and the people cheering was unbeatable. 100% would come again.
Running as a punishment, Runner as an identity
Back in China, running is used as a punishment in physical education class. If you misbehave, the teacher will tell you to run 5 laps around the track. No wonder most of my friends never enjoyed running!
I have a troubled relationship with running too – I used to run excessively to lose weight and had anxiety attacks before track meets. I was the fastest girl in high school, and running constitute a disproportionate large part of my identity. I used to think it’s the only thing I was good at, and I couldn’t afford to lose this edge.
I still remembered this phone call with my mother in 2017 summer. I said “Mom, I don’t want to run anymore, but I have to. If I stop, I am nothing.” It’s almost laughable looking back now, but I was stuck in a deep psychological mire.
It took me almost 3 years to fully recover a balanced relationship. The key has been to not carrying a watch, to run by effort, and to run with the correct intentions.
Not carrying a watch stops you from comparing with your past self (I am so much slower than last season!) Running by effort allows you to listen to and reconnect with your body. Running should not be an instrument to punish yourself for having an extra slice of cheesecake, or a primary tool to lose weight. These few tricks have helped me to regain a balanced relationship with running, and now I thoroughly enjoy it again.
Weekend running retreat in Diablerets.
Do not excessively reprimand yourself
To run well, you have to be rather “harsh” with yourself, or how else can you drag yourself out of bed to run 20 miles on a cold, 6 degree Sunday morning? As distance runners, we tend to punish ourselves for slacking off, walking in the middle of a long run, or stopping short of target milage.
However, what I learned recently is that as long as I generally follow the plan, there is no need to reprimand myself. Not running for a day or two will not affect my performance immediately – in fact it might even help a little. What’s worse is the time wasted on “faffing”, regreting, feeling negative and anxious.
For example, sometimes after a long day on campus, I would come back home, exhausted. I sat in front of my laptop, feeling anxious because I was supposed to run a 9 mile according to the plan, but also feeling this huge resistance to leave my chair.
I’d imagine the brisk evening air, empty dark streets, and my frozen fingertips. I envision how uncomfortable it all is, remind myself of how tired I feel, and ask myself why the hell I signed up for another marathon? Wouldn’t all this time be better spent reading a novel or learning a new song? Never again, I remind myself.
But eventually I thought of how far I’ve come, why I signed up in the first place, and got up and out of the door.
first day at running retreat, 16km, 1500+ elevation
Find creative, logical ways to get back on the wagon
You will fall off the wagon for sure. There are definitely going to be days when you just couldn’t gather enough motivation to get out of the door. Here are a few tricks / questions to ask yourself.
1. Know your training plan well so that you can be flexible
Often you have days that are particularly intense – for me it’s Wednesdays, which also happen to be my midweek long run day. Sometimes I need to run a 10 miler after a 14 hour day at school.
I get around this by familiarize myself with the training plan. I know I have a Friday for rest, and Thursday for 4 miles. If I need to, I could switch up the Wednesday and Thursday to get in some more sleep.
The key really to know your plan well – how many weeks in total? Is this week a build-up or recovery? Is the long run 16 miles or 22 miles? This way you can plan ahead and be flexible. You won’t mistakenly schedule a party the night before your long run.
2. Pre-anticipate the pain
I often find difficult workouts easier if I anticipate its difficulty. I sometimes find myself thinking about my next sunday long run or my lactate threshold workout days beforehand, and imagine how sore my legs will be, how out of breath my lungs will feel. Then I will quickly empty these thoughts before they start to cause anxiety.
This might sound a terrible idea, but it actually helps me to be mentally ready for a tough challenge. The workout will almost always be more fun, and less painful than what I expected.
Some people like to be caught off-guard – not knowing what they have to do until the last moment, and just dive right in. I needed a bit more preemptive preparation. Try both to see which one fits you better.
steep, scary, but so much fun!
3. Estbalish a rountine, and then shake up your routine
If you run often enough, you have a handful of routes that you are familiar with – you know where to turn, where are the hills, how long it takes, etc. I have two convenient 6 mile loops, one harder, one easier. I run them so often that when I close my eyes I could see the streets passing by as if I were in a film.
These well-established, familiar routes are great, because it saves you the mental energy of navigating. Familiar routes also feel much faster – before you start to notice, and you are already back home. It’s just not possible to run a new route every training session, and these handful of paths are where you will be spending 80% of your time.
But they do get boring. And then you need to shake up your routine. Around Week 9 of my training, I felt particularly unmotivated to run. I decided to try out new routes, navigate a new environment. To my surprise I found a beautiful path that runs across an elevated cornfield, affording me a beautiful view of the alps and Lausanne. The sceneary and novelty make me looking forward to running every night again.
Another thing that I did to shake up my routine was joining a “trail running retreat weekend” in Diablerets. EPFL Cap-à-trail organizes these bi-annual running trips in its Chalêt, and around 40 runners of different abilities will come together to run the mountains. So instead of the Sunday long run by myself, I did a few shorter, harder, steeper runs with lots of elevations amid lots of laughters, swear words, stories and singing. In this way you get your mileage in and refresh your passion for running.
Okay, now on to the next journey!